Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Beloved Citizens of the Most Righteous Nuttistan,

We now face a new threat from the vile perpetrators of evil and blasphemy, one that will no doubt be followed back to that most vicious snake, the Witch Mustain.

This new challenge comes from those wishing to ask questions of the most glorious people of Nuttistan and what they believe of me, the Glorious Leader and Accomplished Father of Our Nation, the Ayatollah Housteihni. (The hat tip most assuredly belongs to the Deep South Sports.)

Only heathens question the position of the GLAFON.

These infidels surely misunderstand our wondrous nation. They want to foist their hedonist ideas of "democracy" upon our great land, which has enjoyed peace and prosperity because of the steady and unassailable wisdom of the Glorious Leader.

How do these most egregious sinners justify their actions?

"We have contracted with an established, respected professional polling firm in Arkansas, to take an opinion poll of Razorback fans. Primarily about the state of the football program, plus a couple other topics. There are 2 topics that we primarily would like to see researched: (1) The assertion that only a small portion of fans, such as 5%, are dissatisfied with Coach Nutt. (2) The assertion that a 'small, vocal, organized minority' is behind all the discontent; and that this minority is concentrated in NWA. ... We will poll about 600 fans, yielding a margin of error of about +/- 5%. That is a typical sampling size for this type poll, and the margin of error is close enough for our purposes.We are shooting for 150 fans in each of the 4 Congressional districts. This will avoid skewing the data by a heavy concentration of responses from places like Little Rock or Springdale."

This is nothing short of a wormlike crime against humanity.

However, people of Nuttistan, do not fear. The Glorious Leader has most wisely arranged for the services of a master of the numbers in these "polls."

The newest servant to our Glorious Leader.

This man, the Karl Rove, will save us all with his most incredible plans. And the sunny paradise of Nuttisan will continue under the greatness of

Your Glorious Leader,

Ayatollah Housteihni

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