NUTTISTAN FREE OF THE WITCH
Dear Citizens of Nuttistan,
It is I, Great Leader and Accomplished Father of Our Nation, the Royal and Elegant Houston Nutt.
Perhaps you have heard that our nation is finally free of the horrendous and wretched traitor, he whose name shall not be mentioned except by the Ayatollah, the Witch Mustain.
He has gone to the Nation of the Oppressor, the Land of the Sinners and the Excessively Long Hair, the University of Southern California.
Yes, there are those who would say that a 6-3, 205-pound QB with an 8-0 record as a starter is indispensable. But these critics are all infidels and thus must be disregarded. Besides, they rarely note that Witch Mustain completed 52 percent of his passes and had just one more touchdown than interception. This is pure evil.
Trust your glorios leader on this one.
Thank you as always for your kindest understanding and wishes of good will for our great nation and its Father,