CIVIL WAR IN NUTTISTAN CONTINUES
To the Citizens of Nuttistan:
It is I, your Great Leader and Accomplished Father of Our Nation, the Royal and Elegant Houston Nutt.
Recently, it has come to my attention that some our most respected members have been critical of our Great Nation and the would-be leader of its Young Soldiers' Brigade. This, clearly, is unacceptable.
GLAFON will brook no criticism from even our most prominent citizens.
This may be a good time to remind our Good Citizens of the Laws Concering Affairs of State in Nuttisan:
(1) There shall be no questioning or attacking GLAFON, also known as Ayatollah Houstehni.
(2) All decisions of Ayatollah Houstehni are final.
(3) In Affairs of State, the Run shall always be favored over all other forms of warfare.
(4) There is a new and dangerous Ideology known as the Forward Pass. This is forbidden and one of the Unmentionables.
(5) There shall be no talk of the newest manner of Sedition, called the Spread Option. This, also, is forbidden and one of the Unmentionables.
(6) There shall be no Peter Pan Peanut Butter eaten in Nuttistan, as his latest sandwich gave Ayatollah Houstehni a most unappreciated stomach pain.
Let it be known that the Citizens of Nuttistan will triumph over the Evildoers.
Your most humble GLAFON and Ayatollah,