Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I DUB THEE, 'FUTILITY BOWL'

Vanderbilt and Wake Forest, perpetual underachievers in two quality conferences, will meet for seven mind-numbingly mediocre games, officials at both schools announced Tuesday.

"With these two school's grand traditions of inability, fans are guaranteed to get more suck for their buck," said Wake Forest Athletic Director Ron Wellman.

"It's great to know we're not alone in dragging down the achievement level of an otherwise BCS-caliber league," said Vanderbilt Coach Bobby Johnson, who spoke because Vanderbilt has given up caring enough to have an athletic director. "Now we can slug it out in a glorious celebration of yellow flags, horrendous special teams plays and more turnovers than you used to find in grandma's kitchen."

Schools officials are planning to call the game the Futility Bowl.

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